I’m sitting here with this revelation that I’m beyond just being sober, but truly feeling some other changes happening or coming into my life. One of the biggest things that I did when I drank was get sucked into chats with guys that was really leading to ‘nowhere’… and because I was drinking, I thought it was ok.
Being sober now, those chats have lost their appeal and I see them for what they are. Guys reaching out to me when they have nothing better to do and I’m now able to say NO and move on.
I used to view this in a whole different light before. I was craving attention and when a guy would reach out, even though I knew it wasn’t in my best interest, after a few drinks well it sounded like fun. But then the next day came and I was back to being alone. NO MORE! I deserve better.
I do have a couple of male friends that I see – and with both of them I would like more (well I believe in one man one woman lol – but I like both of these guys as they have their own unique positives) – but what we have is at a level that we both agree too. It works when we can make it work but no pressure. It’s still not ideal but at least sober, I know I am making much sounder decisions around this and if I say yes it’s because I feel it’s a good thing (we all have needs lol).
The other point I’ve been reflecting on is what else I want to do with my life. I love my job but I want to find other means of creating income for myself so I can be even more independent in life. I’m contemplating many avenues and reading a lot. Even participating in free seminars to kind of get a feel for where I want to go with this. I have time to do this now that I’m sober but even now, there’s SO much information out there, it’s overwhelming. So I will practice some patience and make sound sober decisions so that I move towards more opportunities and leave those dead end and dead beat men in my past. The future is bright!! MY future is bright… you know this was the title of the story I contributed to Louise Hay’s Modern Day Miracles… guess in what section it was in?! Addictions… this happened in 2010 and here I am now. A work in progress. I am learning a lot along the way and perhaps that in of itself is part of my destiny – to gather these lessons so that I can share them and help others going through similar journeys. My wish is that – to be of help to others while fulfilling my passions in life.
I couldn’t do this if I wasn’t sober. Very grateful to put day 28AF in the books!