Day 3 That Almost Wasn’t

While I try to post mostly inspirational thoughts here – this blog is also about the real challenges we face when we try to change our habits around alcohol.

I found myself having really BAD cravings to cave in and have drinks. I know the triggers… I get that feeling of being overwhelmed – by my home life situation of raising to teen girls who right now are very dis-respectful to me and we’re constantly fighting. I am tired becauseĀ I haven’t been sleeping well because it is insanely HOT and I have no AC. I am edgy because I feel like there’s so much I have to do and right now – it’s too hot to have the motivation to do it. But I write and blog – and that helps.

I surfed the net and read the questionnaires about whether or not I was an alcoholic – and I still have a problem admitting that I am that because I don’t like the label. I know that I do have control issues when it comes to alcohol but I believe I’m for the most part a functioning person who likes alcohol a bit too much – as it is used as my coping mechanism for other issues going on in my life.

So I want to shift my focus on figuring out better coping techniques – many of which I do most times – like exercise, talking walks, meditating, pampering myself, window shopping, reading, writing, … it’s a matter of knowing how to flip the switch by distracting myself long enough to work through the craving to cave to my commitment to take a break from drinking.

So I did not cave to alcohol but I ended up having MacDonald’s – which I won’t beat myself up for. One thing at a time. I’m proud for not caving in and for then shifting my focus – watching a documentary about someone who juiced for 60 days and transformed his health – and while watching it I did an hour of strength training.

Now I’m writing this and I will head up to take a nice cool bath and hope that my daughter checks in soon. It’s Canada Day here and I’m at home alone – not attending celebrations but doing a lot of reflecting. Trying to adopt the ‘one day at a time’ motto – just for today I will not drink and I did it!!