Lose ‘da Booze Secret Facebook Group

There are a lot of groups out there for those wishing to change their relationship with alcohol. I first joined HAMS – as I simply wanted to perhaps learn to moderate my drinking but soon found that the group grew large and the focus was more on drinking than not in many posts. I had a few members who wanted to do an AF (alcohol free) challenge and I had a team I had been doing this with via another platform (SparkPeople – Cutting Down the Booze) and I decided I would try doing one through Facebook.

Back in 2013 I tried to join Belle’s 100 Day Challenge (Tired of Thinking about Drinking) – but it didn’t click for me and I found it turned into more and more of a sales pitch.

My goal was simply to get to that 100 days and I finally achieved it on my own last December 10th, 2016 and then in January of 2017 – I decided to launch it as a closed group. I later changed it to a secret group to ensure more privacy as closed groups sometimes come up as suggested groups on pages and members didn’t want that to happen. I had about 140 members join in and when I completed my 2nd 100 Day Challenge  on April 10, 2017 – I was joined by many others. It felt amazing to be able to share in the experience and the testimonials have been amazing. The group has grown to be the most supportive, positive and non judgmental group I’ve ever been a part of and I’m so proud of the fact that it has grown as I always envisioned this type of group would.

So bit by bit – I sometimes introduce it to others – but you have to be invited or added by an existing member as you can’t find it in a search … so if you’re interested – feel free to add me as a friend (as I can only add friends as members) and send me a note to be added to the group. If you’re not ready to do 100 days that’s ok – you can still join in. Many of our members gather inspiration from our daily posts and work their way up to 100 and some have gone BEYOND (like me) and are alcohol free for life!

Before you do – have a read of our group’s description and if you still think you want in – then I look forward to hearing from you!!

The goal of this group is for you to get an AF streak in (perhaps you’re joining for the one month) or perhaps you’re striving to reach 100 Days (or more) consecutive days Alcohol FREE (AF)! It’s about Thriving without ‘da booze! The group was created in January 2016 where many of us jumped in to reach 100 Days AF – and we’ve since grown to call it a “Success Group” rather than a ‘challenge’.

This group is meant to be a safe space to share a sometimes very private and personal journey related to your desire to let go of alcohol in your life a CONSECUTIVE stretch of AF days – the focus of the discussions and posts relative to sobriety and being AF. This group is SECRET to allow for us to be able to share in this group and not open to the open Facebook community you may have on your own page, so please respect this and do not share anything that is said in this group outside of this group. If anyone encounters any issues around this, let me or another admin know.

** This group will not tolerate negative posts, hurtful or unsupportive posts. This group is not intended for posts relative to opinions about religion, politics, debates relative to other groups, etc. The Admin reserves the right to remove these posts and the members who post them. We will not tolerate TROLLS either. NO-PROMOS ALLOWED IN COMMENTS OR POSTS If someone requests your email or website, message them privately.**

This group is committed to focusing on being AF (alcohol free), ABS (abstaining)! We understand that some may not be ready to jump in right away and perhaps gaining inspiration to get to a point of doing a longer period of abstinence. There’s no failing in here – we believe that better is better but if you are doing too many restarts perhaps you’re not quite ready for this challenge and you perhaps need to check the other resources: HAMS is a great support group for moderation support with some periods of abstinence www.facebook.com/groups/harmreduction/.

I created the group because the AA model did not fit what my intentions were when I think about ‘Losing ‘da Booze’ and my journey (as I do not believe I am powerless in any way). I wanted to create a group of support that did not follow the 12 steps but that simply was a gathering of like minded individuals who were simply trying to better their lives – without any negative labels. While I do recognize AA has helped many – this is not the place or space for discussion/debate. I also do not like the labels of alcoholism, alcoholic or recovery. To me it’s simply about choosing to live a healthier life – without alcohol! Blogs are posted periodically via this site losedaboze.com 

DISCLAIMER ** This group is for support and encouragement but can NOT replace professional medical counsel. If you have a serious dependence on alcohol or have been a heavy drinker- please consult your doctor or professional counselor before attempting to quit completely. You may have to practice tapering first. **

Change…

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Today started off well – I woke up feeling good about not caving in yesterday and was on a roll getting things crossed off my to do list. Then I got a call to go babysit for a friend – one who really needed to get out as her daughter had been hospitalized for a month and she basically had a melt down needing a ‘date’ out with her hubby. While it didn’t fit with my plan for the day, I couldn’t say no. So I went and they told me to help myself to whatever – beer too… and I said I wasn’t drinking. 

I was fine for a bit then I guess that afternoon itch came again and I was not in my own place. There was beer in the fridge there. I blogged on Soberistas … because it’s more ‘live’ there and got support and worked through the urges again, wrapping up day 13 AF.

And so this poster above… I want to say goodbye to the old me and hello to my new life but I fear it too. It’s unknown territory and that can be scary – well frankly it is in some ways and also promising of course. I know that things could not go on as they have been – that endless cycle of sober periods followed by days of drinking. It was just draining my spirit. However, I still am fearful of the ‘sober forever’ term and so I keep trying to pull myself back to just for today, I will NOT drink and do that, one day at a time. 

It’s time for a change and the only way it can happen is by doing things differently. That means no more giving in to those cravings and working through them like I did yesterday and today. It wasn’t easy though. I’m feeling very drained and tired now so I’ll be in bed early and looking forward to the work week when it seems the voices are quieter. My 2nd weekend AF here in the new home was successful. Onward and forward!

Facing This Change

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There are times when I think of the efforts I’m making to truly change my way – to that of living a sober life – that I still question ‘can I truly do this?!’ 

I honestly at times feel almost resentful that this is an issue for me this alcohol affair. Why can’t I just be ‘normal’ and be able to enjoy it socially without it leading to binges?! I guess the fact that I’m still questioning if I can do this for good worries me even – and then I keep bringing myself back to TODAY and now, and yes for today I was sober. 

I will admit coming home and even thinking today is Friday … you know that saying TGIF – well in my case, a friend from soberistas gave me a more a propos acronym that I felt and will likely feel for a while. OFIF (Oh Fuck It’s Friday)… because come the weekend the mode is being ‘off’ work and relaxing which used to come with me picking up my vodka lime and wine coolers. I’d open it up and have some that evening until bed and then there’d be some left the next day so I’d have some more… and as I saw the levels getting low, I’d start considering getting more and so the binge cycle would happen. 

I’m happy to say the thought crossed my mind to get some but I got busy doing other things and it passed and outside of this lingering headache I have going on, I’m feeling good about that. I’m going to turn in soon and look forward to waking up feeling fresh and clear tomorrow – ready to make this a productive weekend. 

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So while I still have the resentful feelings for having to basically give ‘da booze up – I know that I can spend the same amount of energy being happy about giving this nasty habit up and with time, I know I’ll start to feel better about it as I reap the benefits of being freed from it.

Reading stories and blogs of those succeeding, those struggling and those slipping – keeps me going. I am so grateful to have this space to be able to share and also to hear feedback. I think this was the piece that was missing before for me.

I continue to also use some of my other tools – reading books (currently reading Sober Identity by Lisa Newmann and next is the Soberistas book). I have plans for this weekend that will hopefully keep me busy and AF. I honestly need to get more days under my belt I supposed to feel a bit more confident since I’ve been here before… but I will acknowledge and congratulate myself for staying AF on this Friday night. 

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I am letting go of ‘da booze… and I’m going to stick this out to get the true happiness in life I deserve … with a clear and sober head.