Lose ‘da Booze Secret Facebook Group

There are a lot of groups out there for those wishing to change their relationship with alcohol. I first joined HAMS – as I simply wanted to perhaps learn to moderate my drinking but soon found that the group grew large and the focus was more on drinking than not in many posts. I had a few members who wanted to do an AF (alcohol free) challenge and I had a team I had been doing this with via another platform (SparkPeople – Cutting Down the Booze) and I decided I would try doing one through Facebook.

Back in 2013 I tried to join Belle’s 100 Day Challenge (Tired of Thinking about Drinking) – but it didn’t click for me and I found it turned into more and more of a sales pitch.

My goal was simply to get to that 100 days and I finally achieved it on my own last December 10th, 2016 and then in January of 2017 – I decided to launch it as a closed group. I later changed it to a secret group to ensure more privacy as closed groups sometimes come up as suggested groups on pages and members didn’t want that to happen. I had about 140 members join in and when I completed my 2nd 100 Day Challenge  on April 10, 2017 – I was joined by many others. It felt amazing to be able to share in the experience and the testimonials have been amazing. The group has grown to be the most supportive, positive and non judgmental group I’ve ever been a part of and I’m so proud of the fact that it has grown as I always envisioned this type of group would.

So bit by bit – I sometimes introduce it to others – but you have to be invited or added by an existing member as you can’t find it in a search … so if you’re interested – feel free to add me as a friend (as I can only add friends as members) and send me a note to be added to the group. If you’re not ready to do 100 days that’s ok – you can still join in. Many of our members gather inspiration from our daily posts and work their way up to 100 and some have gone BEYOND (like me) and are alcohol free for life!

Before you do – have a read of our group’s description and if you still think you want in – then I look forward to hearing from you!!

The goal of this group is for you to get an AF streak in (perhaps you’re joining for the one month) or perhaps you’re striving to reach 100 Days (or more) consecutive days Alcohol FREE (AF)! It’s about Thriving without ‘da booze! The group was created in January 2016 where many of us jumped in to reach 100 Days AF – and we’ve since grown to call it a “Success Group” rather than a ‘challenge’.

This group is meant to be a safe space to share a sometimes very private and personal journey related to your desire to let go of alcohol in your life a CONSECUTIVE stretch of AF days – the focus of the discussions and posts relative to sobriety and being AF. This group is SECRET to allow for us to be able to share in this group and not open to the open Facebook community you may have on your own page, so please respect this and do not share anything that is said in this group outside of this group. If anyone encounters any issues around this, let me or another admin know.

** This group will not tolerate negative posts, hurtful or unsupportive posts. This group is not intended for posts relative to opinions about religion, politics, debates relative to other groups, etc. The Admin reserves the right to remove these posts and the members who post them. We will not tolerate TROLLS either. NO-PROMOS ALLOWED IN COMMENTS OR POSTS If someone requests your email or website, message them privately.**

This group is committed to focusing on being AF (alcohol free), ABS (abstaining)! We understand that some may not be ready to jump in right away and perhaps gaining inspiration to get to a point of doing a longer period of abstinence. There’s no failing in here – we believe that better is better but if you are doing too many restarts perhaps you’re not quite ready for this challenge and you perhaps need to check the other resources: HAMS is a great support group for moderation support with some periods of abstinence www.facebook.com/groups/harmreduction/.

I created the group because the AA model did not fit what my intentions were when I think about ‘Losing ‘da Booze’ and my journey (as I do not believe I am powerless in any way). I wanted to create a group of support that did not follow the 12 steps but that simply was a gathering of like minded individuals who were simply trying to better their lives – without any negative labels. While I do recognize AA has helped many – this is not the place or space for discussion/debate. I also do not like the labels of alcoholism, alcoholic or recovery. To me it’s simply about choosing to live a healthier life – without alcohol! Blogs are posted periodically via this site losedaboze.com 

DISCLAIMER ** This group is for support and encouragement but can NOT replace professional medical counsel. If you have a serious dependence on alcohol or have been a heavy drinker- please consult your doctor or professional counselor before attempting to quit completely. You may have to practice tapering first. **

Can I Really Do This?

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I’m sitting here after 17 days of daily drinking again – some of which was beyond moderate to the point of binge drinking to ‘finish it off’ so I could hopefully tackle the next day without booze. It’s this cycle I seem to keep reverting to and it makes me wonder if I can really do this AF thing. I know deep down that I must and as I read some wonderful posts – including Lisa’s recent equation one – well I am given hope. This SHIT is real hard. Today is our Thanksgiving holiday and I’m grateful that everything is closed down and that I have resolved to making it my first AF day again. 

I told my daughter yesterday – ‘after today I’m going to quit again’ and she replied ‘ya right’… OUCH. I did tell her I made it 24 days last time and I truly and honestly want to make it longer. I can’t think forever because that notion scares the hell out of me – who will I be if I no longer drink? Even as I did allow myself drinks again when I went to meet friends before my meeting, they said ‘oh you have to be drinking when it’s our gala girlfriend’… and that’s on November 30th. So you see – even with  my resolve today about NOT drinking – I’m already thinking ahead to that night as I did with my move and how I started drinking then after 24 days of abstinence. 

I go through so many highs and lows and sitting here this morning, in my new bedroom looking out the window to the greyish day, the fall leaves on the tree outside the window, gently swaying and leaves slowly falling – I feel as though it’s a time of change for me too. But can I really do this? I know deep down in my heart and soul I want to prove I can. I know posting publicly here is risky – because it opens things up for feedback… and while most of the comments are helpful, there are at times notes from some who just truly should NOT be lurking if they can not relate to what I’m going through. 

I’m only human and I have made mistakes and I’m sure I will make more. The key thing I guess is that so long as I keep trying, that I stay true to myself, I will eventually get there. Nothing really worthwhile having is easy. This is HARD work, and I’m going to use the next 24 hours to get back to my sober world. 

Having my step-daughter over later for Thanksgiving dinner – and I am going to take time out today to truly be appreciative of the good things in my life – including finally being in this new home and using my AF time to get more unpacking done. 

We All Have Our Reasons – Nobody’s Perfect

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I really believe this to be true in that we all have our reasons for being here trying to stay sober – but most of all why we became problem drinkers to begin with. Each one of us has our own story or reason about why we turned to alcohol. For me, as I reflect, I guess it was just what people did. I watched my parents go on benders. I then started drinking underage, and when I reached the legal age, well then I just drank more.

Part of the work in becoming sober is uncovering the WHY we developed issues with alcohol. What was it we were masking or avoiding? For me the alcohol was a way of numbing myself from many experiences of abuse – but ironically the drinking led me to putting myself in more abusive situations.

After my divorce, which was over 10 years ago, I fell into an even greater depression and drank daily. It was not pretty. It wasn’t until I sought out counselling that things started to get better. When I started talking about all the issues I had, and figuring out ways to deal and cope and just put things in the past – that I could even think of trying to tackle the issue of drinking too much.

Now fast forward to today. I’m on day 22 and feeling very strong in this effort unlike any other attempt I have made in the past to stay booze free. I would have to say it’s because I have matured and I have learned to accept that sure I’m not perfect – but I am the best that I can be and that’s good enough for me. For those who don’t like it – well they can piss off!

Today I’m the person who tries to stay positive in the face of new challenges and I have to say riding this sober car ride – well my stress levels are down BIG time because I don’t have the guilt and anxiety to deal with around the whole drinking issue. I am still dealing with day to day ‘crises’ with my 12 year old and I have to be on the ball (tonight I had a parent come knocking at my door accusing my daughter of talking inappropriately to his 10 year old son about sexual websites, etc. – I stayed cool – and said I would talk with her and find out her side of the story – of course it’s kids and not simple… but I am sober and I can deal with it in a level headed manner).

While my life is normalizing somewhat as I practice sobriety – there’s still a lot of ‘screwy’ things about me (and around me) – but that’s the beauty of ME (and the ever unpredictable world)! We are all unique, yet we all share very similar stories – and I love coming here to read about all of them. It’s ok to NOT be perfect – what matters is that we do the best that we can in the moment that is NOW – the key is to stay in the present and just live for what is right in front of us.