Today is day 5 AF for me and I’m at Day 5 of The 30-Day Sobriety Solution book/exercises. The actions steps for today include:
- Review the List of Teetotalers (it’s quite an impressive list although many I don’t know – I was in fact surprised by a couple of names on there). It’s nice to see those that don’t drink but frankly – because I’ve been exploring this, I’ve learned of more and more people that abstain. It’s like when you buy a certain car – you start seeing the same make/mode it everywhere after that. When you are sober – you find those like you out there.
- Stop using the word can’t – this is a BIG one for me not so much out loud because I always start any project or goal with intentions of “Yes I Can” but that sometimes wavers because in my head I still have that voice of low self-esteem that doubts my abilities. With years of reading on positive affirmations and learning to change the way I think – this too is progressing so that I do believe I CAN do this. Proof is in the program I started on January 4th – and I’m still sticking with it… This book now is my NEW ‘Yes I Can’ do this project!
- Write Down Examples of Using Confirmation Bias with Your Drinking… Well you know this one is relatively the same. When I decide I’m going to give in and have drinks, I seek out my friends asking or saying – I’ve been good all week so I should be ok to have a couple of days off. I research or seem to find articles that back up or justify my giving in when it suits my purpose. I know there are tons of views on the matter of whether I should cut back completely or see if I can moderate and for now without even using a bias I’m just ok with regaining some control with this re-boot.
There was a part in today’s chapter that spoke about doing a vacation without alcohol. I’m now planning a trip to visit my family and friends back home at the end of March which is just shy of my 60 days commitment. It’s Easter and it will be after lent – and so already in my head I’m saying it would be ok to have some then… but then I think of how I said I was 100% committed to doing this 60 days. Imagine their surprise if I visit and don’t drink (because much of the activity when I visit usually revolves around drinking). I know I can do this if I affirm I will – today I will just say for now I’m happy with being sober on a Friday night and looking forward to a great night’s sleep and productive weekend ahead!
It’s been a while since I’ve done a 30 day stint of no alcohol… and with this new book “The 30-Day Solution” I’m re-inspired and BELIEVE Yes I Can do this! And not only 30 days this time but 60 days. I am using this weekend to prepare and rid the house of alcohol. Allowing myself a few drinks … but come Monday February 1st, I’m done! For 60 Days!
I can’t explain the ‘why’ but this time feels different. I have often had the intention of doing this but kind of half assed put the effort in. Some social event would come up or some excuse and I’d give in because I was NOT 100% committed. In reading that passage – making sure I commit completely doesn’t leave that head game space to decide should I or shouldn’t I have some … and it’s right out NO not this time.
I will be traveling on April 16th. I will be in a 100% better head space having 60 days of this reboot behind me going there – because I don’t want this trip to be focused on the drinks but rather the beauty of the vacation and for the first time since I can’t remember – have a ‘family’ trip – a first with my boyfriend and my daughters. A time to just enjoy life!
I feel so blessed to be able to finally do the things I have always wanted to – because of this wonderful man I’ve met. I have waited a long time and dreamt of this day coming … and so I don’t want to mess it up.
I have spent the past few years struggling with my daughters and their mental health difficulties … and I want this trip to be good medicine for all of us.
As I sip drinks tonight – I can sense a difference … I know I will be saying goodbye to the alcohol come Monday. I know it won’t be easy – especially come the weekends (as I’ve been doing pretty great during the week with no drinks since the new year). But it’s totally do-able … especially knowing I’m not alone on the journey and that we can support one another.
Here’s to a great weekend and an even greater month ahead! February is usually one of my toughest months with many ‘hard’ memories… but not this time! I’m looking at it with positive light and energy … the month that begins my new transformation! Here’s to building a NEW life!
I am coming to journal about my experience (exercise number 5) of the Day 1 – 30-Day Sobriety Solution.
I listened to the audio of the Time Travel Technique and was really amazed at how the visualization of seeing myself maintaining the same pattern of drinking that I have been in for another 5 or 10 years. How I would look like, how I would feel, what my life would look like and I could feel the knot forming in my chest because I didn’t like what that would be like. I know only too well from close loved ones near me who succumbed to drinking too much and how it affected their lives. I know that is NOT what I want for my life.
The second part of the exercise was to visualize myself in a year, 5 years and 10 years – but having changed my way of life so that alcohol no longer controls any part of my life and I have a take it or leave it attitude when it comes to having a drink. WOW – that’s how I want to feel and visualizing how I would be physically strong, lean and glowing with health. Visualizing the success I’d have in my career and possibly my second career in coaching. Visualizing the financial freedom I would have in comparison to the struggles I’ve experienced over the years … Visualizing this lovely relationship I have now (met my lovely partner on Oct 31, 2014) flourishing in wonderful ways instead of seeing the opposite – having me sabotage it or drive him away.
The booze in my life has indeed been used to mask many things – things I was avoiding facing or just scared to change for fear of the unknown but I feel I am ready now. It’s ironic how they speak of the time line because for me – this year is all about that as I turn 50 in September. I view this year as a new beginning into the next half century of my life – being healthier and fitter than ever!
I want to be that woman that people see and say ‘wow you look great’! Not the one that people see and secretly say ‘wow she looks worse for wear’. I want to be glowing with the passion I have inside me.
And so I’ve decided that my official Day 1 of this program will be on February 1st and I am 100% committing to a 60 Day Reboot! YES – you heard me not the 30 days I was originally thinking of but 60! I have done a 30 before and while it’s been a long time – I’ve never done a 60 in ages and with my trip / vacation coming up April – I want a good clean 60 days to reset my mindset so that this vacation will be unlike any other I’ve ever had. One that will be family oriented and not focused on drinking. One focused on activities to bring us all closer.
I hope you’ll follow along … as I launch into this fully on February 1, 2016.