It’s morning and I’m doing my thing … waking up to go put my workout clothes on, grab my pre-workout drink (my liquid gold Energize) and sitting down to read my affirmations and check in with my groups.
Last night we had company over and I stayed sober while watching an activity I regularly took part in. We had a nice dinner and then played cards. The boys drank beers and my female buddy drank 2 glasses of wine… and I drank diet Pepsi. I watched the boys down their beers quite quickly – I lost count but I’m sure they each had at least 10 in a very short period of time and my fiance was intoxicated and annoying! He’s a happy drunk – but nonetheless it was annoying to me as he began to repeat himself and what he thought was funny – after repeating it about 20 times – it became old fast.
He said something funny and my neighbor (his buddy) spit out his beer all over the table with some landing on his wife… then in another instant as they were talking loudly and with their hands – SMASH her empty wine glass shattered all over the ceramic floor.
They got here at around 4:40 pm and left by 8pm … once they left I simply retreated with the rabbit and let her run around and play and petted her while I reflected on what had happened. I then got ready for bed… telling my fiance that I wasn’t impressed with his behavior (although he was still intoxicated to didn’t go on about it too long) and went to bed.
I did a short video of him in his state and will show it to him today so he can see what I saw. When I was drinking – the events that happened last night could have likely turned into a fight as he made some comments that didn’t sit well with me – but as I was sober, I let it slide.
What I remember most about my drinking days is how so very often I would end up getting emotional, upset or fight … because you’re no longer thinking with a clear mind. Your emotions and perspectives change. I don’t miss that at ALL! I love being in control of myself and my actions – and not waking up the next morning wondering if I said or did anything I shouldn’t have.
I know my fiance doesn’t remember the details – and that’s where it gets bad. When you drink to a point where you can’t recall details it is a sign that perhaps you’ve had too many.
I decided to stop drinking and didn’t ask him to – but I certainly wished he’d slow down some. He’s not a problem drinker. He only started a few years ago and has a couple during the week at times and on weekends sometimes a bit more. He doesn’t get this intoxicated on a regular basis – because if he did we’d have an issue. So my thoughts are that I will express to him some of my feelings – and explain that as I am sober, it’s not attractive to me at all. It makes me want to be alone or away from him.
I can handle being around drinkers – but simply don’t care to be that much anymore. It’s just not something that I’m interested in as I strive to live a healthier life. And that happens… as we taste sobriety and all its benefits, we sometimes outgrow things that used to be our normal go to activities and it’s so hard to shift because the people you hang out with (at least in my case) still revolve many of their social activities around having drinks.
So that was just one night and now he’s gone for the day and enough said… We don’t have company over often and so I’m letting this go… I’ve expressed my feelings and it’s time to move on and focus back on the great day ahead and wonderful SOBER clear head I have (hangover free)… Happy Sunday!!