I’m sitting here at the end of a very full day. It was quite productive and I see progress – the house is getting emptied out nicely and things are getting organized at the new place as I go along.
I did have more thoughts about having a drink – or letting myself have some on Saturday – but kept talking through it because I honestly am not sure I want to get back into that cycle and have to go back to day 1. I’m recalling my pledge on my bday – to stay sober for my 47th year of life.
However, in the end of course I did not drink today (even though the thoughts were there) and I’m so glad I didn’t. I got a call from the school saying my oldest had been brought in by the police having been caught with other kids smoking marijuana and having some in her possession. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing – I honestly never would have expected this to happen to her. Thankfully the police officer gave her a good talk about the seriousness of the matter and because it was her first incident, she did not charge her. I was so grateful!
And so I thought – Thank FRIGGEN God I didn’t have a drink! Even if it had just been one – could you imagine me in the vice-principal’s office with the police officer and my daughter smelling of booze. I would have died!
So while it was a really shitty thing to have happen – in the end I think it was a good lesson for my daughter. She is suspended for 3 days from school and there are things we need to work on but we’ll get through this.
They are both going away to a friend’s cottage tomorrow night and I have to say it’s a welcome relief to know they will be there because I know they won’t get into any issues/trouble. It means I will have two free nights and a bit of a much needed mental break. Of course, the thought of having drinks then comes into mind as I could do so without worrying about anything happening … but then my streak would be broken.
I’m going to keep coming here and reading blogs and posts – I need to stay strong through all of this and deal with these matters and the feelings that come with them in a sober manner.