What an incredible week and weekend! Lots going on with social activities as I was one of the planning committee members for our Winter Gala again and with my daughter and many issues arising for her.
Today was another really tough and emotional day – there are times and moments when she is in crisis and I just feel like I’m DONE and feel like I’m going to have my own meltdown… but thankfully I’m sober and I am handling it much better (although it’s definitely still not easy). She escalated and screamed and cursed at me and told me she couldn’t wait to get away from me (move out). Then she stubbed her toe and it was bleeding badly and she started hyperventilating… This all happened minutes before we had to go to her scheduled therapy session. She was going to cancel again – but I told her she HAD to go or I would cancel the reservations for our trip in March/April (a reward I promised her if she did well in school and overall).
She managed to calm down enough for me to bandage her. We went to her session and I sat with her through it this time (it’s only the third time I do). We worked through how she would handle the school situation. Then we talked about her eating disorder issues which are the source of so much of her angst and self-hate and self-harming. I really need to buckle down and read the book for help around this (Life without ED – How One Woman Declared her Independence from her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too, by Jenni Schaefer).
So now I sit alone for a bit to write this. Yesterday was my Gala and that went well as I was AF and didn’t miss it at all. I felt good about my decision and happily left just after 10pm to come home to bed lol.
I didn’t get to as many things as I had hoped to today but alas – I’ve learned to be flexible and most of all I’m learning about patience and how to keep my peace.
I finished listening to the audible book The Power of Habit and can happily say that I’ve broken ‘da booze habit in my life this time – for longer than the 100 Day Challenge and confident I will achieve my one year goal as I do this as my own experiment.
I’m curious to see all that I will accomplish while not drinking throughout the year. What will come after doesn’t matter just now – what matters now is that my NEW habits are much healthier.
And with this I close off – as I have been called to ‘mom’ taxi yet again… Another advantage of always being sober – I can pick up and go anytime!!
Here’s to beating my next record on December 12th!!