Day 4 – To be or not to be A-Free!

I had another emotional day – just driving into work in the car as thoughts went through my head, tears started to flow. I was commuting with my fiance and I just couldn’t stop the tears… At work – more of the same. As soon as I would think about all that I’m dealing with – the tears flowed.

I managed to get through most of my work. It’s been real tough staying focused and on task. I’m finding myself forgetting things and simply missing things that is totally NOT my style (I’m known for my efficiency). I did not make it out to the outdoor yoga I helped to organize (something that will happen every Thursday over the summer months). I came home to a moody kid… but I was pleased to see the art work she completed today. She has been keeping herself busy doing projects over the past couple of days which I am pleased with and have been praising her about.

We did receive some good news today – she has the appointment scheduled with Fawg Forest Therapeutic Farm for Sunday and she received the intake/screening call today and they will process her referral as a high priority to get her counseling going. She did get upset with me about a tattoo she wanted me to allow her to get – it’s a fund raiser for animal shelters. I’m not crazy about the idea and it made it so she was in a foul mood with me as she worded it “I was taking away about the only thing she was really looking forward to and that was motivating her to do household chores”… needless to say no chores got done.

I also received a reply from the e-counseling that I am accessing for myself and replied back. Since I love to write – it’s a good means to get some extra support. And tomorrow I’m off and see my family doctor and my plan is to ask for his support to allow me a bit of time off to regroup and get my energy and emotions/affairs in order.

My daughter and I went in to town and I debated about going to the liquor store to get drinks… thinking I’m not sure if I want to be AF. Then I thought – I need to have a clear head for when I talk to my doctor tomorrow and since I’m off – I hope to get a few things done including a workout in the morning – perhaps a few workouts… I’ve been slacking on this and that too may be contributing to me not feeling as good.

So I’m pleased to say day 127 of 300 Days AF for 2017 is in the books! And check out the quote – how about that for ON POINT!!

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