I wanted to copy this particular passage from Day 12 because it’s so true:
“The Elephant in the Room (Say No to No)
The subconscious mind doesn’t understand negatives, so if you tell yourself “I will not drink,” your subconscious only hears “Drink.” Instead, tell yourself, “I will be sober and happy.” Whatever you consciously and repeatedly think about, accompanied by strong emotions, will reprogram your subconscious over time.”
Action Step 1 for today – When you get into bed each night, take 5 minutes to visualize all of your goals, dreams, and desires-and make sure you include your thriving-in-sobriety goals. Doing this right before you fall asleep is one of the best ways to reprogram your subconscious.
I generally do more of this first thing in the morning, but I’ll start the practice of reviewing it before bed as well.
Action Step 2 was to listen to the guided meditations (available on the site). I have done these and won’t repeat at this point.
I think for me the last action step is one that is worth more of my time/reflection:
Action Step 3 – Think about when you used to drink and write down any situations, times, places, and emotional states you were in. Then recall any incidents from your childhood that helped create these links.
Remember, whatever you consciously and repeatedly think about, accompanied by strong emotions, will reprogram your subconscious over time.
I think for me the whole ‘drinking’ thinking was developed as I observed everyone around me drinking – every situation, event, gatherings – all about and around drinking. I saw my aunts and uncles intoxicated. I saw my own parents intoxicated and even to the point of harming themselves (my dad fell once on a glass which broke right above his eye and the ambulance came and he was to drunk to go – I was the one who tried to convince him to go). My mom when she fell down some stairs and had my dad not been there – she could have died as she was in a position that would have prevented her from breathing. Watching other very traumatic events.
I saw how they used the drinking to ‘cope’ or what they called unwind and grew to associate it as the thing to do.
I see now as I see my own kids struggle with issues in life that this is not the model I want to be for them. I want to lead by example – a healthier and sober life. I want to show them that moderation is the way if we choose to drink as my own goals involve cutting down – not quitting.
This weekend I pushed through and remained AF. It was harder as the cravings and social situations called for drinks but I pushed through. Today especially I felt fidgety and wondering what to do – opting to ‘eat’ instead of drink – not the best but as the book says, I’m trying to tackle one thing at a time. For today it was more important to NOT drink and ok to allow the cave to food cravings.
Tomorrow is a new day and tonight I finish 15 days AF … intending to reach 50 to 53 days of sobriety before my visit back home where I hope to enjoy a few drinks – perhaps even some planned intoxication and come back to some AF days for a stretch to ensure this new pattern is etched as my way of living and thriving more often as a sober happy healthy person!