Day 170 of 365 – The day that almost didn’t happen

Yesterday was the toughest day I’ve had with respect to urges to cave into drinks. It’s been a hellish week for me. My energy has been off. I have felt out of sorts most of the week with lingering headaches and even feeling dizzy. My blood pressure was up a bit – so stress and weight are definitely a factor. But yesterday was the worse in that I really felt like saying FUCK IT – and have drinks with my company… but I didn’t do it… and very happy about that otherwise I’d have the guilt and remorse to deal with above everything else I’ve been feeling.

I don’t blog daily here but do come to log in and journal when I really feel the need to record a bit of what’s going on. February is a tough month – always has been for me for various reasons (many past memories in this month that bring up feelings, the winter blahs and blues and now MENOPAUSE crap too). There’s also the ongoing struggles as we deal with my daughter’s eating disorder and it is just taking it’s toll on me. I can’t imagine how it must be making her feel as she is the one living with it!!

Thankfully today’s a day off and I finally have my morning to myself (the mornings are my quiet time and I haven’t even had that lately as my daughter was waking up and chatting with me – which is great as she wants to chat but I selfishly miss my peace and quiet time – where’s it’s just about ME).

We don’t have set plans for today – other than the usual, cleaning, laundry and meal prep. I’d say I’d go out to do something but the weather is crap with rain in the forecast so not a good day for outdoor activities. I will get my workouts in (stretching and some cardio) and hope to read/listen to more of my books. Maybe I’ll try to get some de-cluttering done to feel some sense of accomplishment with some house projects since it’s so crappy outside.

I’m also really frustrated with my own issues with food … and struggling with letting go of sugar now. I know it’s not good for my health and a vicious cycle as was the booze so I have to work just as hard on this now as I did with losing ‘da booze! I have been talking about it and not following through – kind of like when I first tried to cut out alcohol back in 2013 and professed I’d do this 100 day challenge that I only just managed to do in 2016. I do hope it won’t take me as long to get this eating stuff under control – but it’s definitely the biggest challenge I face now (especially with my daughter’s eating disorder in the forefront).

So today’s the new day – Monday … a new week and I’m 12 days away from 6 months of sobriety! It’s time to shift away the focus about losing ‘da booze to now losing this sugar addiction that has taken a hold of me.

I’ll be blogging more about this in my SparkPeople blog as it relates more to the health aspect that this website deals with. But I’ll be checking in here periodically to relay how I’m feeling as the months continue leading towards my one year goal of Losing ‘da Booze!

 

Day 161 of 365 – Breaking Bad Habits

At the beginning of the AF Journey – I always tell people to not worry too much about anything except the MAIN goal and that is to be without booze! Now that I’m over 5 months into this journey – I’ve learned that this shift is only good for so long. When we seek to break a bad habit – we need to replace it with a GOOD one. I am doing well with this relative to working out consistently but not so well when it came to the emotional eating.

So this week I’ve armed myself with more tools to deal with this. I’ve downloaded a couple of Audible books on emotional eating and sugar cravings and I’ll also get a book when my next credit comes up “Brain over Binge”. I watched a YouTube video and he recommended this book and Tony Robbins program “The Body You Deserve

One of the main reasons I wanted to quit booze was to reach my health goals and while I know it’s not all focused on the scale – it’s definitely one aspect of it. The website I’ve been a part of for over 11 years featured my story in one of their blogs yesterday affirming my desire to overcome this emotional eating barrier!¬†www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp?post=how_hlne_stopped_drinking_started_living_her_best_life¬†

I have committed to one year of sobriety but determined to stay the course as long as it takes to reach my goals. It’s only about 5 months in that I’m now able to address the eating issue as the booze cravings have mostly diminished (although I still have faint thoughts or moments of wanting – they pass pretty quickly when I see how others are early in the game and struggling so much to stay sober).

This experiment I’m putting myself through has been enlightening and amazing! Moments in life now are just so special as I view them from sober glasses! Drinking really is a buzz kill (as I stated in post in our group) and this sober life is my NEW high!!

Day 153 – 5 Month Badge

Cheers to one more badge earned!! Life is good these days even with the challenges that arise… I’m staying strong and no longer think about going to ‘da booze as a way to cope. Instead I think about my workouts, reading, taking a bath, meditating, going for a walk, checking in with our Losedabooze group or calling a friend.

These are the #sobertools that will help me reach my health goals!

Here’s to the next month ahead and hitting the half year mark! I haven’t gone this long since my last pregnancy … 17 years ago!!