Oh how far I have come from that first photo on the left – taken in May 2016 before I started my FIRST 100 Day Challenge in September 2017. Today I stand in awe of how doing these challenges have changed my life and have truly shifted my desires… Gone are the feelings of missing out on something and here is the energy and inspiration to go after my dreams!
For the first TWO 100 days I did – as I neared the end I was already making plans on when I would have my first drink – promising myself I’d be moderate. My first break wasn’t a long one – from Dec 16th to Dec 31st – but I drank every day over the holiday period. Then on January 1st, along with the newly launched Facebook Group I was joined by many others who wanted to Lose ‘da Booze in their lives!
The second break was April 11 to September 2nd, 2017 – it started with my dream trip to Hawaii – my 50th birthday milestone gift and where I got engaged too! When I got back from this trip – after having had drinks while on vacation the stress factors shot through the roof with my daughter and I reverted to daily drinking as a means of coping … and also ate as I watched my daughter struggle with her eating disorder – it was like I was eating for her. As a result I regained 33lbs of the 45lbs I had lost since January 2016 (when I launched myself 100% into my Beachbody workouts and programs).
This morning I’m at day 98 AF – and I’m down 11.5lbs of the 33 I regained. And I am TIRED of having to lose the same weight again and again! Thus my goal to go a full year without alcohol (and perhaps beyond). What I’ve learned over many years is that I am an emotional eater/drinker. I used both as coping tools and realize that in order to succeed I had to change my habits.
So every day now – I wake up with determination and go to bed with satisfaction – SOBER! No thoughts or crying about not being able to drink over the holidays. Just excitement to really enjoy them fully – being present and able to remember every moment!
2018 is going to be an incredible year!! While my one year experiment will ‘end’ on September 2nd (the day before my 52nd birthday) – I may just decide or change enough to say I’m done for good. Until then – it’s one day at a time and I’m enjoying every moment!!
What an incredible week and weekend! Lots going on with social activities as I was one of the planning committee members for our Winter Gala again and with my daughter and many issues arising for her.
Today was another really tough and emotional day – there are times and moments when she is in crisis and I just feel like I’m DONE and feel like I’m going to have my own meltdown… but thankfully I’m sober and I am handling it much better (although it’s definitely still not easy). She escalated and screamed and cursed at me and told me she couldn’t wait to get away from me (move out). Then she stubbed her toe and it was bleeding badly and she started hyperventilating… This all happened minutes before we had to go to her scheduled therapy session. She was going to cancel again – but I told her she HAD to go or I would cancel the reservations for our trip in March/April (a reward I promised her if she did well in school and overall).
She managed to calm down enough for me to bandage her. We went to her session and I sat with her through it this time (it’s only the third time I do). We worked through how she would handle the school situation. Then we talked about her eating disorder issues which are the source of so much of her angst and self-hate and self-harming. I really need to buckle down and read the book for help around this (Life without ED – How One Woman Declared her Independence from her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too, by Jenni Schaefer).
So now I sit alone for a bit to write this. Yesterday was my Gala and that went well as I was AF and didn’t miss it at all. I felt good about my decision and happily left just after 10pm to come home to bed lol.
I didn’t get to as many things as I had hoped to today but alas – I’ve learned to be flexible and most of all I’m learning about patience and how to keep my peace.
I finished listening to the audible book The Power of Habit and can happily say that I’ve broken ‘da booze habit in my life this time – for longer than the 100 Day Challenge and confident I will achieve my one year goal as I do this as my own experiment.
I’m curious to see all that I will accomplish while not drinking throughout the year. What will come after doesn’t matter just now – what matters now is that my NEW habits are much healthier.
And with this I close off – as I have been called to ‘mom’ taxi yet again… Another advantage of always being sober – I can pick up and go anytime!!
Here’s to beating my next record on December 12th!!