Monthly Archives: October 2017

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Lose ‘da Booze Secret Facebook Group

There are a lot of groups out there for those wishing to change their relationship with alcohol. I first joined HAMS – as I simply wanted to perhaps learn to moderate my drinking but soon found that the group grew large and the focus was more on drinking than not in many posts. I had a few members who wanted to do an AF (alcohol free) challenge and I had a team I had been doing this with via another platform (SparkPeople – Cutting Down the Booze) and I decided I would try doing one through Facebook.

Back in 2013 I tried to join Belle’s 100 Day Challenge (Tired of Thinking about Drinking) – but it didn’t click for me and I found it turned into more and more of a sales pitch.

My goal was simply to get to that 100 days and I finally achieved it on my own last December 10th, 2016 and then in January of 2017 – I decided to launch it as a closed group. I later changed it to a secret group to ensure more privacy as closed groups sometimes come up as suggested groups on pages and members didn’t want that to happen. I had about 140 members join in and when I completed my 2nd 100 Day Challenge  on April 10, 2017 – I was joined by many others. It felt amazing to be able to share in the experience and the testimonials have been amazing. The group has grown to be the most supportive, positive and non judgmental group I’ve ever been a part of and I’m so proud of the fact that it has grown as I always envisioned this type of group would.

So bit by bit – I sometimes introduce it to others – but you have to be invited or added by an existing member as you can’t find it in a search … so if you’re interested – feel free to add me as a friend (as I can only add friends as members) and send me a note to be added to the group. If you’re not ready to do 100 days that’s ok – you can still join in. Many of our members gather inspiration from our daily posts and work their way up to 100 and some have gone BEYOND (like me) and are alcohol free for life!

Before you do – have a read of our group’s description and if you still think you want in – then I look forward to hearing from you!!

The goal of this group is for you to get an AF streak in (perhaps you’re joining for the one month) or perhaps you’re striving to reach 100 Days (or more) consecutive days Alcohol FREE (AF)! It’s about Thriving without ‘da booze! The group was created in January 2016 where many of us jumped in to reach 100 Days AF – and we’ve since grown to call it a “Success Group” rather than a ‘challenge’.

This group is meant to be a safe space to share a sometimes very private and personal journey related to your desire to let go of alcohol in your life a CONSECUTIVE stretch of AF days – the focus of the discussions and posts relative to sobriety and being AF. This group is SECRET to allow for us to be able to share in this group and not open to the open Facebook community you may have on your own page, so please respect this and do not share anything that is said in this group outside of this group. If anyone encounters any issues around this, let me or another admin know.

** This group will not tolerate negative posts, hurtful or unsupportive posts. This group is not intended for posts relative to opinions about religion, politics, debates relative to other groups, etc. The Admin reserves the right to remove these posts and the members who post them. We will not tolerate TROLLS either. NO-PROMOS ALLOWED IN COMMENTS OR POSTS If someone requests your email or website, message them privately.**

This group is committed to focusing on being AF (alcohol free), ABS (abstaining)! We understand that some may not be ready to jump in right away and perhaps gaining inspiration to get to a point of doing a longer period of abstinence. There’s no failing in here – we believe that better is better but if you are doing too many restarts perhaps you’re not quite ready for this challenge and you perhaps need to check the other resources: HAMS is a great support group for moderation support with some periods of abstinence www.facebook.com/groups/harmreduction/.

I created the group because the AA model did not fit what my intentions were when I think about ‘Losing ‘da Booze’ and my journey (as I do not believe I am powerless in any way). I wanted to create a group of support that did not follow the 12 steps but that simply was a gathering of like minded individuals who were simply trying to better their lives – without any negative labels. While I do recognize AA has helped many – this is not the place or space for discussion/debate. I also do not like the labels of alcoholism, alcoholic or recovery. To me it’s simply about choosing to live a healthier life – without alcohol! Blogs are posted periodically via this site losedaboze.com 

DISCLAIMER ** This group is for support and encouragement but can NOT replace professional medical counsel. If you have a serious dependence on alcohol or have been a heavy drinker- please consult your doctor or professional counselor before attempting to quit completely. You may have to practice tapering first. **

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Day 52 of 365 – November to Remember

There’s ONE week left in R’October Sober and I’m already planning to keep this sober train going! I’m going to make November one to Remember – with clarity and hangover free days as I continue my AF ride! I’ve invited others in the group to join in as well!

I’ve been listening to the audible version of Claim Your Power the past couple of days and it’s been like a review for me because I feel that I’ve reclaimed my power ever since I started letting go of ‘da booze in my life for these challenges. The work he has you do about figuring out your ‘original incident’ or reasons why you keep going to SP’s (survival patterns) is something I’ve done over the years through therapy, counseling and my own personal development with readings and workshops, as well as the monumental Soul Re-Structuring session I did last September that was the ‘flip of the switch’ for me! My next session is booked for November 3rd (you can only do this once a year) and I hope it gives me a nudge to propel me even further ahead.

You see listening to the audible and having it make me think about WHY I turned to booze – well it’s kind of sad… when he named reasons or examples – it was like I could identify with many of them – including abuse (as early as I can remember when I was a child and a neighbor propositioned me), some physical, emotional and psychological stuff. Having witnessed many negative scenarios relative to my parents and aunts and uncles drinking way too much and how  as kids would hide in fear … as we didn’t understand it.

I picked up drinking at the age of 12 – to be cool (or to appear to be that)… I’d sneak it from my mom’s bottle and pour some in a pop can and go out with friends and it made me feel like I fit in somehow. In my early years I did anything but fit in. I was teased about my glasses, my buck teeth and taunted and even got into a fight with a guy in my class. Having to recall my past gives me a knot in my stomach and yet – it provides some understanding as to how I ended up where I did and how I seemed to keep attracting the wrong kind of people and relationships into my life… until a few years ago.

Where I stand today is very different from where I was then. I am now stronger, healthier and feel much more in control of my life. The alcohol does not have the appeal anymore because I’d rather live an authentic life and feel all the feels… good and bad. And there are still some challenging ones in there with my daughters’ stuff.

But here I sit today – feeling proud of my achievement in completing a couple of challenges and recognizing there’s more work to do in this area and that perhaps this may turn out to be more than a one year break… but for now soaking it all in as my own experiment.

Every morning I get up and look forward to sharing inspiration in my group on Facebook – our Lose ‘da Booze 100 Day Challenge group… and knowing it helps others brings joy to my heart! I got to the part in the book where it speaks to finding your purpose … and the group – my mission to share my own experience about how alcohol really isn’t ‘all that’ is what I want more than anything.

I’m feeling strong and committed to seeing this through to my 52nd birthday (Sept 3, 2018) and then we’ll see what path lies ahead… for now it’s just one day at a time… working towards my dreams!!

 

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Day 48 of 365 – Just Say No!

Today is day 48 AF for me and I’ve passed over 500 drinks!!! That’s incredible. When setting this app, it was hard to judge how many drinks I would have in a given day… and actually scary! I feel so much better being SOBER and feel a freedom knowing that I don’t even have to have that debate – will I or won’t I have drinks today. It’s just so much easier to say NO! #LoseDaBooze
 
PS – this app is called EasyQuit Drinking and I downloaded it on my android. I love the badges it gives – it’s motivational for me! They also have great health indicators showing how your health improves the longer you are sober!
Looking ahead to the weekend – we have a paint night social tonight which for many means an association to drinks but I’ll be sticking with my AF drinks. I have a full day conference tomorrow to soak in some learning. Then Sunday alone with my daughter as my fiance is away for the week (gone hunting). I’m going to make the most of our alone mother/daughter time!
Life really is just so much better when you are SOBER… in every way!!
It really is just easier to say No or I don’t drink then it is to have that nagging debate take up real estate in your head … so I hope YOU will join me and say NO to drinks this weekend!
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Day 45 of 365 – Feeling that awesome DRIVE!

Today was an awesome day! I felt like I was on fire! My brain is working like it used to and I was on the ball with all my tasks and multi-tasking (even helping a colleague who had to be off this week as she was hit by a micro burst tornado and is home cleaning all week).

I sometimes wish I could can or bottle this feeling – to be able to pull it out when I’m not feeling this high! Seriously – to describe it it’s like my whole being is buzzing with positivity and no matter what comes my way I’m juggling it all with ease and poise. I was super productive and even on plan with my health routine – including the nutrition today which I think is another reason I feel so good.

Wait – no … the other reason is that my daughter had a rough night last night and I ended up sleeping with her to make sure she didn’t purge. This morning she messaged me to say she didn’t feel like going to school and last year and the many years before as this has been going on for at least 4 years… she would have argued with me. We would have been texting back and forth all day and she would have stayed home alone and been down all day. Today I made the suggestion that she should try to go so she could be distracted and not stuck here alone thinking about food all day. So she went… and she had a really GOOD day! It made my heart smile!

She has not missed one day of school this year and that is HUGE as she has barely attended the past few years. And tomorrow she’s excited about her DBT therapy group (her 3rd week). So her school days are now Mon, Tue and Thur with the group on Wed and therapy at the therapeutic farm every Sunday right now.

She’s still not eating much but at least her spirits are better today. I did hear back from the Eating Disorders (ED) clinic and they have their team meeting on Wednesday and will get back to me by Thursday about the plan. She sees the ED doctor next Friday.

So maybe that’s it … why I feel so good or a combination of being sober, present, clear headed, productive, active, healthy and on task/focused!! Now this is a blog I have to save to re-read whenever a craving hits because no alcohol can ever give me THIS feeling! AF is the way baby!!

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Day 44 of 365 – 1000 Hours AF

Love collecting my EasyQuit Drinking App badges as much as I love getting my FitBit badges! It’s all a sign of moving in the right direction as I Lose ‘da Booze and form healthier habits to live a life more intentionally than ever before!

This weekend had a few hiccups with cravings and challenges with my daughter, but I pushed through. I started reading the book Claim Your Power and already on day 6 – discovering that much of my own personal journey has followed what he suggests. I know my issues with alcohol relate to past traumas or events and even my weight – as a protective barrier and escape mechanism.

I’m now forming a new habit of facing those feelings head on. I’m posting for accountability and support. I’m being open about it on a platform where my family and friends are being made aware of what I’m doing and I am getting great feedback.

I’m only 6 days away from reaching my 50 day mark and I remember the first time round how that was my first intention. Today I’m 322 days away from my goal of achieving the FULL year without the alcohol and determined to see this through and perhaps having SOBER be my new healthy habit for good!

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Day 39 of 365 – Making of OurSelves…

Here’s to making ourselves STRONG! As I was listening to the book Claim Your Power (because as I’ve said – I will NEVER believe we are powerless) – he stated that it takes 40 days to change a habit… and this article says it takes 66 days How long it takes to break a habit– but I say even after the  days, it was so easy to slip back into my old drinking patterns. This is my BIG WHY I’m going a full year… to see how I feel after that one year experiment and perhaps determine that I’m done for good with this habit.

This saying stuck with me from what I listened to yesterday – What was once my medicine (the alcohol that I ingested to cope with life and used as a means to try to make life more bearable) has become my poison. It’s now a toxic part of my life that perpetuated a negative state of mind – filled me with anxiety, guilt and made me depressed. It made me hide when I should have been present. It let me down in that it allowed me to say YES to stupid shit! I have had so many negative experiences in life related to ‘da booze that committing to a full year of freedom from it seems simple now. Where I used to struggle to get to a few AF days in a row… I am now STRONG and free! Wishing you all a healthy and sober day! Day 39 of 365 days today!

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Day 37 of 365 – My One Year Experiment

Another weekend gone by – and it was a holiday one for me (Thanksgiving) without a thought about drinking. It’s my 5th weekend spent sober and being more productive than ever. Today I got my fiance involved as he cleaned the windows in the house and I got him to go through his closet/clothes to get rid of what he no longer (or ever) wore. One of my new found loves is Thrift store shopping – for a few reasons. I like the idea of re-purposing items and also love to be able to pay less for items. I believe it’s a great exchange and helps others at the same time. A win/win if you will.

The other great thing about my new sober habits is the self-care routines I have going on. My daily affirmations, workouts and night time routine – face moisturizing, brushing/flossing my teeth and checking in to post with the group and/or journal blog to record where I’m at.

This past week had its challenges with issues with my daughter and even today – she was being a typical teenager and driving me crazy. I felt my anxiety and frustration rise… but I went to work it out (opted for some Pump and Burn with Les Mills Body Pump). Then I did more reading (this book “The Power of Now” is intense to read – I don’t recall a book ever taking me this long to read lol).

Our rabbit had surgery on Thursday and she’s fully recovered which is great (as I was nervous about that). My daughter had her therapy session today and that will be ongoing again (as her therapist is recovering from surgery) so I hope to see continued improvement. Tomorrow it’s back to school for her and back to work for me. My days and evenings are all planned and I feel so ‘good’ about all the actions and choices I’m making.

In contrast to my drinking days – when I used to avoid or hide from stuff – I’m facing it head on – in the raw. And I’m not doing it alone!! The group I created on Facebook has grown to be something I’m so fond of – the ongoing testimonies I receive… here’s one from this week:

“Good things have been happening since getting sober.  I got the freelance contract in May and now a full time job offer. While I am sitting in one of the most beautiful and famous spots on the planet (thanks to the Beatles). It’s sunny, I booked my Himalaya trip and I am about 6 months sober !!! Life does get better and I am 💯 % aware and awake for it! No more freelance work, no more financial insecurities. It’s not a dream job but it’s going to be interesting enough. And freelance work was not going to be any better either .”

The feedback and the sharing that goes on in the group is simply amazing! The energy in there is sacred and it’s an entirely safe space to share and that’s what I love about it most. It’s something I will work to maintain as we continue together. So far – those who joined in for Sober October are doing well too. Whether they stay in for just a month – or if they remain – they are getting a glimpse of how special this space is!

I’m inspired to keep going – and this one year experiment may turn into something greater for me as I aspire to be in a place and space where others may seek the group out to help them in their own personal journey to Lose ‘da Booze in their lives! It’s a very difficult journey for some – but the comfort of knowing they are not alone and that others care makes it less harsh. And for some – the group and the accountability is what keeps them SOBER.

And that my friends is SUCCESS in my view!!

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Day 30 of 365 – Easier This Time Around

Yesterday was October 1st and it’s the time I log in my stats and record where I’m at on my health journey. I have decided that this time round, I will record my face to face comparison from Day 1 to every month going forward. It’s a visual for me about the changes that are happening. Weight loss wise – I managed to lose 5lbs and 5 inches in the first 28 days. I’m pleased with that considering the first month I focus solely on being AF and give in to cravings for comfort foods.

Reaching Day 30 today has been relatively easy this time round. I barely had cravings and really simply focused on making my lifestyle a healthier one, and Losing ‘da Booze was the greatest barrier to me achieving this. I do recall years back – well even up until my first 100 days how just achieving 30 days seemed so hard. That’s why I opened up the group to allow those who were considering a break to try to do October Sober. Because this journey really does happen one day at a time.

I’ve been thinking about why it’s easier this time and I believe it’s simply because I have committed to the full year without so the concept of thinking of when I can have my next drink is out of my mind. Feeling as good as I do again makes me realize how cutting out ‘da booze is just a no brainer… Funny how our mind tries to trick us into thinking otherwise at times. I believe since I’ve become more public about this, it’s been something that is complimented as good thing and people share with me how proud they are of me and that makes me feel good. I also want to role model for my daughters about how living sober is so much better. I barely have any anxiety (I have moments still but those are just normal things). As someone mentioned in the group – many turn to alcohol to try and easy anxiety or depression – when in fact it just perpetuates the problem.

My focus has been shifted towards living healthy. I’m exercising regularly again – which boosts my mood naturally. I’m focused on furthering my training in this area I am so passionate about with a goal to complete my Lifestyle and Weight Management Coach certification this month. I’m dedicated to finding great information for my followers and sharing with them… This particular website is one that provides great information about overall positive wellness  and information in a variety of areas that are relevant to my journey!

My love of sharing positive affirmations daily as I practice that in my morning routine is something I believe everyone should practice…

I haven’t been blogging daily here but my group is one of the main reasons I also believe why being AF is so much easier now. The power of community and support is incredible. I do post daily and proudly about the achievements on my Facebook Page so please visit me there and follow me! I can’t wait to keep sharing the benefits and FREEDOM that comes when you Lose ‘da Booze and super excited to have many new members joining us for R’October Sober.

Wishing you all a great and SOBER Monday! It’s now time to check in with my group and get my workout on!! As a Beachbody coach, I’m practicing being a product of the product!! Exercise is my NEW healthy habit and I’m loving it!! This morning it’s 21 Day Fix Total Body Cardio and tonight is the beginning of week 5 with Turbo Jam! If you need motivation, remember to follow me on Facebook for daily posts!