Day 206 of 2017 – Success Breeds Success!

Today another member “Graduates” having completed 100 Days and I’m thrilled to hear that she’s decided to keep going into another 100 days!

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately – just 6 days into another streak for me and still undecided about how the rest of my summer or year will play out. I have been having very vivid dreams – many of which are about alcohol or how alcohol messes up my life and situations. The most recent one being about my upcoming step-daughter’s wedding and I found myself having drinks breaking my Finish July Dry commitment and feeling like crap about it!

I decided to book the rest of this week off work – to mainly focus on getting back to a healthy place in my head. And I think this can only be done by Losing ‘da Booze … for sure for the rest of this month and beyond so I can be strong and clear headed come August 19th when the day of the wedding arrives.

Our group and my intentions for it had never been about complete sobriety but rather getting a hold of how the habit had a hold on me and turning it around so that I was in control (not the other way around).

For the newcomers to our group … know this … when you decide to jump in … at first you may doubt yourself. The first 7 to 10 days are probably the hardest but then when you’re over that hump – things start to shift and you start to see things in a different light. This is where I want to be again as I’ve been in a slump and slightly depressed with the issues I’ve been dealing with on my home front as my daughter works through her illness (recently diagnosed with an eating disorder). This shit is HARD. During my first 100 days – my focus was solely on ME and I pretty much was able to ignore everything else but that’s not the case now – so I have to find balance – to be there for her and support her, while continuing my own self-care so I can be strong for her.

So if you’re reading this and wondering if YOU can do this… I say YES you can… and perhaps at first you have to e ‘quiet about doing it’… until you get some traction and then lean in for support through your ‘tribe’… My tribe is this amazing group I created on Facebook… If you want to join in … just send in a request and answer some of the questions … We are happy to grow this sober ‘hip’ movement!¬†

Day 205 of 2017 – Keep Going

I’m not yet where I want to be but I am also not where I used to be…

I’m finishing my 5th consecutive day today and re-inspired by many in our 100 Days Lose ‘Da Booze group who are starting their 100 days today to keep it going as long as I can.

My body is still fighting off the toxins and detoxing – that along with a bug I’ve caught so I was wiped out for a couple of days and mentally/physically drained. I decided to use up the rest of my vacation and booked the rest of the week off. This means NO MORE vacation time until April 1st – but since I’m working 4 days a week, I can manage or bank days to save up time if I need days off for something.

I need to get my focus back. Today was to be my Day 1 of a new 21 Day Challenge group but I had to take it off as I woke up feeling awful and still have this lingering migraine. Knowing I’m off tomorrow takes some pressure off – so I’m writing this blog and then going to turn in soon.

I should have some alone time/days in the next couple of days so I hope to really dig back in and get my stuff organized and back to where I can function a bit better.

So here’s to continuing on my path to being better than I was last year… I won’t have my 300 days this year – but I am doing better!

Oh and since my last post – I did let go of a few things in my ‘volunteer’ arena to take some pressure off – it felt good to do so and I received some incredible support and understanding! The load has lightened and I can see the light ahead…

Day 200 of 2017 – Re-Evaluating LIFE

66 Days with drinks so far this year… So no 300 days AF for me in 2017 ūüôĀ … but I need to just let go of this for now. I’ve been really struggling the past couple of months with all that’s been going on with my daughters, the upcoming step-daughter wedding and having to deal with a lot of emotions coming up through it all.
 
I’m having a hard time myself getting out of this ‘funk’ I am in which has been since my return from my dream trip to Hawaii. It’s like all hell broke loose after that … starting with texts from my daughter while we were driving home from the airport with her telling me she wanted to die and spiraling downward from there… with both of my daughters threatening suicide – one taking a bunch of tylenol and going to hospital and the other trying to starve herself and self harming with punching and cutting.
 
I’m just absolutely drained and burnt out. And with the ‘vacation’ after I completed my second 100 days Lose ‘da Booze challenge, I permitted myself to have drinks… and with summer I allowed myself some ‘give’… and now I sit here feeling like crap – with 20+lbs back on. Feeling bloated and disgusted with myself.
 
Emotional binge eating – like I’m eating what my daugther won’t because of her eating disorder – I am gaining what she is losing.¬†While things are starting to improve with her mood wise and with services being put into place – MY OWN shit is way out of whack.
 
I’m second guessing and questioning so much in my life right now. I’m thinking I need to scale back on a bunch of ‘branched’ out efforts I have out there… including the teaching I do very occasionally that has to do with my role as an admin assistant. The last course I taught – well it just didn’t authentically feel like ‘me’ so it’s like I’m second guessing my abilities and job/role as an admin assistant.
If I were to have a wish or dream … my job would be to simply BE this person who helps others… this GROUP we are running on Facebook is what makes me thrive… seeing the lives changing as people work to Lose ‘Da Booze in their lives… yet even this right now I am doubting myself for because I’m struggling to get back to AF mode.¬†
My Beachbody coaching and role on the market council – which is basically being a part of the volunteers who puts together the local events… thinking of letting go of that role and just re-focusing on my own health journey to get back to my workouts and stop putting myself out there so much. I had to cancel my attendance at the summit again due to issues with my daughter and seeing all the posts about it kind of bummed me out. This is the second year in a row that I bought tickets and had to cancel due to family issues… so I figure it’s not my time or calling perhaps. Don’t get me wrong – I love my Beachbody workouts and their products… and need to get back to that for sure as I know that will help me get out of this funk and help me shed some inches/weight again. It’s just that with my daughter’s eating disorder – I feel like I have to be so careful about what I post and share as I don’t want her to become further obsessed about the whole weight/size issues.
I do believe that sharing my journey is important. Even sharing these struggles I’m currently experiencing and working through. I KNOW for sure that I don’t want to let go of my quest to Lose ‘Da Booze in my life… while I still can’t seem to say or admit that perhaps letting go for good is what I must do. The more I read stories of those who have – the more I think perhaps I just need to do this… but it’s so damned HARD! And it shouldn’t be!
I have to go back to read how good I felt when I did achieve the 100 days… and in reading the posts of other memebers as they complete their 100 days and go on to just continue with their sobriety…
I’m at a crossroad I think – one that I have not had to face for a long time… and I have BIG decisions to make… starting with letting go of some of the extras I’ve taken on in my life so I can shift my focus back on my own health and my family … I am not quitting on my dreams to be a person who can be a coach or inspiration to others… but I need to be PROOF that you can get through any struggles … I know I have been through hell and back a few times in my life… and I’m still here so my track record is pretty good. I’m just going to consider this another bump in the road and going to keep on trucking… Starting with making the most of TODAY. I made a plan to aim for 300 Days AF in 2017… and while I won’t reach that – I will do my BEST to beat my numbers from last year (209 days AF in 2015)… and I hope to wrap up this 200th day with my 134th day AF!
 

Day 133 of 300 – and Day 3 AF

Can you see a theme here?! I’m a numbers gal and I have to say today’s consecutive 3rd day AF is a good one. They aren’t always but I guess combined with the fact that I’m on vacation … well it’s been awesome.

First off – I slept in and when I woke, I did not place any demands or overwhelm myself. I know there’s TONS to do but I’m trying to really get a grasp again and get grounded with what ‘matters most’ to me. Too often I try to do too much of too many things and then I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and getting nowhere.

It felt good to just follow my feelings and not have any demands placed on me as I was off today and alone at home.

I’ve been really re-thinking all the ways I put myself out there and I’ve come to the realization that what means the most to me, and what has made the BIGGEST difference in my journey is focusing no my Lose ‘da Booze mission if you will! It’s MY ‘ONE’ thing that leads to so many other good things including my weight loss progress and consistency in working out more.

I feel very much at peace with my decision to simply aim for the 300 days in 2017 AF rather than be completely AF. I had/have doubts at times that I will reach that 300 day goal – given that I only have 5 days left to play with for the entire balance of this year and it’s only July 12th. But I know too that when I put my mind to something and stay focused, I can do ANYTHING!

I spent most of the day on the computer with my LDB group and some of my other health related groups on Facebook and SparkPeople. I started to gather my blogs from my FIRST successful 100 Day challenge and sharing it month by month with the LDB group. I find it is a great resource for anyone starting out to see how it feels early on and a good reminder for ME to go back to when I am having doubts.

Blogging is my therapy and my love too! I have always loved to write and this comes naturally to me and it helps me along this journey as well.

It’s now just about supper time and with my scheduled ‘eating’ window – it’s time to get some steaks on the BBQ and end my eats by 6:30pm. I’m experimenting with Intermittent Fasting (IF) with an 8 hour eating window (today’s fast was broken at 11:30am). I am so far only on day 2 of this but liking the control it’s giving me and how it takes away the obsession of what’s next to eat too. It’s kind of a complement to my AF goals! As many of you may have experienced – what often happens when you stop drinking alcohol – you may begin to have crazy cravings and hunger and this is normal. This IF is helping with that… giving me a bit more of a sense of control!

So here’s to Day 3 in a row AF and day 133! Cheers with today’s flavor of Kombucha (another AF drink I have started drinking that has tons of health benefits)!

Transformation Tuesday – 100 Day Challenges!

Transformation Tuesday – My greatest transformation story comes from my successful 100 Day Lose ‘da Booze Challenges! During each of the TWO that I’ve completed, I was able to lose weight despite the intense cravings for sweets and allowing those in while I focused on the NUMBER ONE priority to be alcohol free (AF).

During these challenges – I was able to focus on my health so as a result I worked out consistently. For me, when I allow myself drinks, I end up then caving in to eating greasy, fried foods and then the next day need more to cure the hangover feeling. For me, when allowing drinks, I would end up not staying on course with my workouts as I ‘didn’t feel like it’. For me, when I was AF, I was way more productive, positive, energetic and dynamic!

While my goal is not to quit for good, my goal is to reach a point where ‘da booze is not such a prominent part of my social life. It’s not easy because alcohol really is everywhere – on media, commercials, advertising, and at most of the social events we attend. It’s a mindset that has been ingrained that it’s normal to have drinks and ok but in many cases and for some it can be truly detrimental to your health.

When I turned 50 last year, I launched into this challenge to honor my sister’s memory as she passed at the age of 50 due to her issues with alcohol. I didn’t want to follow that path and so I decided to create one where I would hopefully help and inspire others to do the same. Following my first completed 100 Days AF (Sept 8 to Dec 16th) where I lost 22.5lbs and 21.5 inches – I launched a group so I could be joined by others wanting to achieve the same goal. On January 1st the FIRST 100 Day “GROUP” challenge started and I, along with many others in the group, completed my 2nd 100 Day Challenge on April 10th of this year.

Since then I’ve created a new group where I am striving to reach a total of 300 days AF in a one year period! Better is better and when I compare some numbers from previous years where I only had maybe 65 days without drinks (in 2015), to 209 days AF (in 2016) – I’m upping the game and aiming for 300 in 2017!

If this story of transformation speaks to you.. if it’s something you’d like more info on, personally message me and I’ll provide you with more information! My next 100+ Days will begin on September 4 or 5th following my 51st birthday! Perhaps it’s a time when YOU may consider joining in! #Losedabooze #100DayChallenge

Vacation Time

Today is Day 1 of my vacation … following a 2 week stress leave (I worked for one day yesterday and now off until July 18th). My view of this vacation time has shifted. I was supposed to travel to my Beachbody Coach Summit in New Orleans – today would have been the day I fly out, but instead I’m here at home this morning. I woke up with my fianc√©’s alarm at 4:30am and went down to my spot and read my affirmations, posted in my groups and on my Facebook Page¬†and then worked out. Today was Upper Fix with the 21 Day Fix Program¬†and today is Day 132 AF of my 300 Day goal for 2017.

Yesterday was an ‘ok’ day. I went to work and got caught up with all my emails and when I got home, well my eating wasn’t great but I stopped eating by 5pm about. Whenever I go back to being AF – the challenge becomes not letting my eating go to crap too. When I hopped on the scale yesterday I was pissed at seeing the number back up at 180.5lbs (and it shows in my belly bulge here in the photo lol)… but with just one day of no booze, I’m down 1.5lbs.

My focus for today is to experiment with the IF (intermittent fasting) which is basically only eating within an 8 hour window – so I’m aiming for 10am to 6pm. Like with ‘da booze – when I set firm boundaries, it becomes easier – like my saying I won’t drink for the rest of this month. I thought about having drinks with my sister when she visits Sunday, but in all honesty, I can enjoy her visit without having a drink with them. I would much rather enjoy feeling less bloated, which should be achieved in the first 3 to 5 days of no booze again.

I’m really struggling with the whole eating thing as I watch my daughter struggle with her eating disorder – yesterday was a binge day for her and then there was my fianc√© too – both of them were having a munch fest so I went to take a bath and then retrieved into the bedroom and was in bed by 10pm.

Today’s plan is to get a bit of work done in my garden (I haven’t even been out there yet with all the rain we’ve been having and how crap I was feeling with my daughter’s crises). I’m using this vacation time to try to get my shit back together and my motivation back up!

What I find helps with the AF days is to shift my focus not on ‘how I can’t have drinks’ but rather back to my health journey and how I need to eat/drink clean and workout. My step-daughter’s wedding is in 39 Days and I want to be looking and feeling great! It’s an event that has me a bit stressed due to the whole jumbled family mix that will be there – including my ex and his wife and my ex MIL. I want to be strong and confident going in there and feeling great about myself in every way. I call this my ‘revenge’ showing… even though the focus and day is about my step-daughter… I need to keep my shit together and not let him urk me in any way (I can’t give him or his wife that satisfaction).

So here’s to making the most of this ‘health’ vacation! NO drinks …and shifting back to a healthier mindset following a tough month of June.

10 More Days Left … Counting Down

I’ve had a few too many resets since my return from my trip to Hawaii. With my intended goal of 300 days or more AF… I’m left with 10 days where I could have some drinks to meet this goal.

I’ve successfully completed the 100 Day Challenge – Twice! But after each one – I went right back to daily drinking – this latest one for longer than the first time. It needs to STOP and it happens one day at a time! I will admit and acknowledge that having this window is a dangerous thing if you are not yet in control and slipping back into old habits/patterns can happen so easily. One of the things I need to work on as I move forward beyond the completion of this challenge is to learn to never have more than one day in a row with drinks and when I have one – to get back to 7 to 10 days without (as that seems to be the ‘golden’ period when ‘da booze really leaves your system and we start to feel better about the whole issue).

UPDATE/EDIT: Since first posting this blog – I’ve re-thought my plan (again) and going back to my original intention of completing my 300 Days Goal for 2017 – but as I re-start my 100+ Days Challenge September 5th – and close the year off AF – I’m going to head into 2018 with a plan to beat my 300 Days (or whatever amount of days I finish with). As I said – last year I ended with 209 Days AF. ¬†Better is always better!¬†